Dear Mr. Cage,
I have long admired your work, and in trying to signal one out, I struggle. I’ve written about my adoration for your work, and never miss an opportunity to praise your limitless acting acumen which just blows me away like that time you played a misunderstood guy on the run in Pick any one of Cage’s movies.
I’m no one in particular, just a time agent for Temporal Inc. from Neo-Boston XVII, but I thought I’d send you a link to this book. It’s none of my business really, but I read in the press recently you had problems because of people saying you’re a talentless hack who just keeps playing the same schtick over and over again. They obviously make all this up, but still, it sounds like you could use a radical life-changer. Follow this book’s instruction every day and you’ll get much more positive publicity, let me assure you!
Anyways, I don’t want to bother you any longer, as I have my own problems such as chronal infestation of Zombie Pharaohs all across the timeline and a mosquito that will simply refuse to die.
I urge you to visit http://www.benrik.co.uk and join us for your own sake. Good Luck.
P.S. Hit me up on Facebook if you need to discuss.
Tomorrow: Act Like a Spy Day