Today’s assignment wasn’t really mine to do, but my friends and family. I was instructed to ask them to complete the following sentence:
What I don’t like about you, my friend/son, _________________. I hereby promise to disinherit/drop you by the end of the year if this hasn’t changed.
Let’s see what people see wrong with me:
- … is that you didn’t call me when I got engaged; I thought you would.
- … is how you always borrow my pink leather panties without asking.
- … is that you are painfully romantic and it is excruciating to see you give your heart to those who are not deserving. I hereby promise to smack you upside the head by the end of the year if your pattern of choosing the wrong ones and getting hurt doesn’t change.
- … is your tendency to be stubborn.
- … is the fact that you cannot possibly be an asshole, no matter how hard you try.
- … is that you tend to ignore reality for the sake of romance.
And finally, courtesy of my own mother:
- What I don’t like about you, my son, is you are demanding, lazy, stupid and don’t love your mom. I hereby promise to disinherit you by the end of the year if this hasn’t changed.
So there you have it. A stubborn, leather panty wearing Romantic, who’s a complete and utter disappointment to his parents. In other words – a catch. Tell your friends.
Tomorrow: Give Yourself Up Day